Build your self esteem in 7 easy steps. Insights and recommendations from Dream Body Fitness co-founder and chief trainer Steve Mululu

People who don’t like themselves find it harder to achieve goals and cope with difficulties. Simple actions will help to correct the situation.

“No one will ever love me,” “I’m too stupid to understand this topic,” “I don’t have enough strength to achieve this goal.” If you periodically say these or similar phrases to yourself, then you most likely have low self-esteem. And this probably prevents you from achieving success and living a full life.

You can increase your self-esteem with the help of seven simple exercises.

1. Rejection of negative thinking

We often have a negative internal dialogue without noticing it ourselves: “I won’t succeed,” “I’m too lazy to achieve something,” “I’m too ugly to please someone.” All these thoughts strongly influence our attitude towards ourselves.

The exercise is to write down all the negative conclusions about yourself that you have. At the end of the day, reread them and turn each one into a positive thesis.

Instead of “I can’t do anything” — “I can do a lot, I can learn this.” Instead of “I’m too lazy” — “I have achieved what I have, and this is already a lot.” Instead of “I’m ugly” — “Many people like me.”

Repeat these phrases every day for a week. Soon they will begin to appear in your head by themselves.

2. Fostering a good attitude towards yourself

Reread the negative thoughts recorded during the last exercise. Imagine that all these things are said about yourself by a close person — a best friend or a family member.

Think about what you would answer and write down these words. Tell me what you see good in this person, what qualities do you respect. Say that you love this person.

It is often much easier to show love to others than to yourself. When you “assign” your thoughts to close people, it becomes easier for you to see the big picture and understand that saying such things to yourself is ugly, rude and generally wrong.

3. Getting rid of guilt and fear

For several days, write down all the fears and sources of guilt that are bothering you. Then highlight those that are repeated especially often. Maybe you feel guilty because you miss going to the gym, or because you constantly forget to call relatives. Or you are afraid that you will not be able to achieve some goal.

Select one item from the selected ones and write a resolution for yourself. For example: “I have the right to miss a workout,” “I have the right to be forgetful,” or “I have the right to fail.”

Place this permission where you will often see it: on the monitor, refrigerator or next to the bed. The next time you are shackled by fear or guilt, take a look at the note — it will make you feel better.

4. Acceptance of its features

Almost every person has traits that they don’t like. You know perfectly well that you are not satisfied with yourself, whether it is low height, overweight or bald.

Make a list of these qualities and write a thank you to each of them. For example: “Thank you to my bald head for helping me spend less shampoo,” “Thank you to my height for being able to comfortably fit in any car,” or “Thank you to my stomach for carrying my baby.”

Some of your traits may not appeal to you, but they make you who you are. The attitude towards them can be changed. And loving yourself is much more useful and pleasant than being dissatisfied with yourself forever.

My default setting is negative in everything. I have to constantly work on my perspective.

5. Learning your history

Comparing ourselves with others is inherent in our nature. Social networks have simplified this task: people post the best things in their lives there, and it may often seem that your reality is much more boring.

We compare people’s Hollywood highlight moment with our ordinary day to day life. No wonder we are not “good enough”.

To get rid of this feeling, it is useful to make up your own story. This can be done on paper or digitally. Starting from the day of your birth, remember and write down important moments in your life. Those that are dear to you personally, and not those that would impress other people.

Maybe the first slow dance was a real event for you, or you remembered getting acquainted with the work of your favourite writer. Add difficult decisions to it — these are also important milestones. For example, leaving an unloved job or moving.

Refer to this chronology every time it begins to seem to you that nothing interesting is happening in your life. You will see that you have been through a lot, and this will increase your self-esteem.

6. Exploring the map of your skills

This exercise will allow you to get to know yourself better and understand what advantages you already have and which ones you need to develop in order to achieve your goals.

Make a list of your fundamental attitudes, beliefs, and traits. Then — a list of skills and strengths that you have developed over a lifetime. List your goals and dreams separately.

Then start forming a tree from these items. You can just draw it on paper, make an application or use a computer. The items on the first list (fundamental beliefs and attitudes) will be the roots and trunk. The second (qualities and skills) — branches. And goals and dreams are leaves.

7. Creating an intention for the day

Once you have understood what habits and attitudes you would like to acquire or change, it is useful to create intentions for the day. To do this, it is enough to choose an aspiration in the morning that will bring you closer to the desired result. For example: “Love yourself, even if I’m lazy,” “Be patient with yourself and others,” “Not afraid of change,” and so on.

When you have chosen an intention, write it down somewhere and reread it throughout the day. Over time, you will cultivate the desired qualities in yourself.

Dream Body Fitness

Dream Body Fitness

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