Day 6 of 21 #dbf_soulworkout
EVERYBODY ELSE IS TAKEN YOU JUST HAVE YOU TO BE YOU…
Self-acceptance is a very important part of self-love. The minute you accept you, then you only have you to deal with. That simplifies life in so many ways. As a young boy I always wanted to be a tough guy. The kind of guy that kick ass in movies like Bruce Lee and Chuck Norris. This was a very confusing part of my life. I wanted to be everybody else but me. I changed how I walked, how I wore my hair and even the way I spoke just not to be me. The more and harder I tried the more unhappy I became.
I remember one day I had curl kit on, one white glove and black long hanging pants and shiny socks, in my mind I was Michael Jackson. My dear mother ( May you R.I.P) called me aside, sat me down, pinched my cheeks, looked me in the eyes and said – “ Son, when you came out of me, it was excruciating pain, but you are the most beautiful thing that I have ever seen. Please don’t change. Just be you”. At that point, a natural calmness came over me, I stripped off the MJ persona and happiness took over and engulfed my tiny heart. I have never been happier when I try to be someone else, there’s only one person that I can’t fake being, and that’s me.
I am not suggesting anything New Age here like standing in front of the mirror and shouting at yourself –“I love you” – that is too ambitious. It never works with me. No, let’s begin with simple accepting. Accepting is easy because it is exactly what it says – accepting. You don’t have to improve or change or strive for perfection. Quite the opposite. Just accept.
That means accepting all the warts and emotional lumps and bumps, the stretch marks, the cellulite, the good, the bad and the ugly, the big bum, the big thick lips and the big flat nose. This doesn’t mean we are happy with everything about ourselves, or we will stop trying to better ourselves, it simply means acceptance.
One of the perks of aging gracefully is not worrying what others think about how I look or dress. It’s so fulfilling and satisfying dressing inside out rather that outside in. I have seen people in public dressed in very expensive designer outfit that has turned against them. I always tell myself that they either need a mirror or a friend. An expensive outfit trying to “fake” the world into being who you are not leads to “impostor syndrome”. This leads to nervousness around others as you busy wondering what they think about you or your outfit. That’s just too emotionally draining for my liking.
This must become one of your values, in fact make it a cardinal rule. You have no choices here. The whole world economy is built on ugliness. They sale you the BS that you are not good enough, and they can make you better. That’s just BS. My race and gender are a God given gift, how can a mere mortal tell me that he can better what he didn’t create?
The marketers tap into our natural weakness of being born loaded with desires, anguish, “sin”, pettiness, shame and wants. This complexity means that it’s very easy to be distracted with wants. None of us can ever be better, so chasing the idea of someone else telling you that they can make you perfect is the beginning of a trip down dangerous painful road. This is chasing and worshipping false gods. Start accepting who you are and where you are, and we can start working towards becoming a better version of ourselves. Some days you will fall short like most of us do. That’s OK don’t beat yourself up. Pick yourself up and start again. Accept that you’ll fail from time to time and that you are human.
I know it can be hard at times, but once you have picked up the gauntlet of living by your own rules, you are on the path to eternal peace. Stop picking on yourself, stop picking faults with yourself, or giving yourself a hard time. For those that know me will tell you that I am the president of my own fun club – in a nice way.
Never ever use your own words to curse your life.
Inner Coach Steve M.